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Parents, schools and churches need the Porn Detection Stick
... at least, that's what the Paraben Porn Detection Stick website claims. (And you thought I was mounting my anti-religious warhorse! For shame!)Paraben are a 'forensics' company that specialize in a wide variety of kinda-cool solutions to odd, and mostly technological, problems. The Porn Stick, much like their 'Chat Stick' uncovers chat logs, is all about finding porn on a target system. Just plug it in, run an EXE and watch as it sorts porn into 'Suspect' and 'Highly Suspect' folders. It even searches by file header rather than extension, which is 'geek speak' for 'if you're gonna hide porn, you gotta do it properly'.
How does it detect porn though? 'Analysis of flesh tones, shapes and curvatures, face detection and body part separation.' I kid you not, that's what the How It Works section says. It even capitalizes it: Body Part Separation. Ew.
They claim a success rate of 99%, which is pretty impressive!
The thing is, I can't get my mind off an even better use of the Porn Stick. I travel a lot, and often I'm alone. Sometimes I get lonely... but if I had a Porn Stick, I could just plug it into a random computer and harvest all of the porn; problem solved.
Comments
21
Subscribe to commentsChristian VelasquezMar 4th 2010 2:18PM
The Ultimate Spyware
RogueJedi86Mar 4th 2010 2:30PM
Someone should modify it to find porn and categorize it for you, for we who are more into researching than removing. :P
Sebastian AnthonyMar 4th 2010 5:45PM
'Flat', 'Curvy', 'Cuban'.
RickMar 4th 2010 2:37PM
So it only runs on PCs? Awesome.
sodapopMar 4th 2010 2:57PM
Kids should just keep their porn on a USB stick and take it out when away from the computer.
hmmMar 4th 2010 3:20PM
And in a truecrypt container..no traces left!
Sebastian AnthonyMar 4th 2010 5:44PM
I'd write up a guide, on safe porn storage, but last time I did the Firefox Porn Add-ons thing I upset some people :(
Mark BMar 4th 2010 3:39PM
I wonder what the pr0n stick would think of my 100 gig collection of curvy sand dunes?
silversunMar 4th 2010 3:59PM
that for some reason, you have 100gigs of curvy sandunes.
or that you like bewbs
EvenioMar 4th 2010 4:55PM
Depends. How far apart are the dunes?
Sebastian AnthonyMar 4th 2010 5:43PM
*fans self* All this talk of curvy sand dunes...
3tearMar 4th 2010 6:16PM
Which end do I insert the Porn Stick in to?
Sebastian AnthonyMar 4th 2010 7:06PM
All good computers have both front and back USB ports...
3tearMar 4th 2010 7:21PM
I accidentally a whole stick :(
Raging HamsterMar 4th 2010 8:29PM
This should make the Geek Squad happy. They can cut their search time in half.
JackMar 4th 2010 10:07PM
V1.0 Porn Detection Stick
V2.0 Porn Collection Stick
TrippMar 4th 2010 11:44PM
Wow!!
G ThompsonMar 5th 2010 2:01AM
I'll type here what I typed on my Tumblr yesterday [http://geekhideout.net/post/425772813]
Being in the Digital Forensics field I can say it COULD work, but it would give so many false positives it would be pointless in everyday use. Also why bother. we all know the “Internet is for porn” ;)
Marty K.Mar 5th 2010 3:15AM
Not to put too fine a point on it (pun intended), but I already have a porn detection stick. It came... preinstalled.
Sebastian AnthonyMar 5th 2010 8:20AM
*groan*