Waste some time and toss the turtle

No, no, really... I'm not suggesting you head to the supplies cupboard and actually toss the turtle! It's a game! NO! Not the kind of game you play with friends while drunk! A Flash game! Adobe Flash! In your browser!

Toss The Turtle is the epitome -- the end of the line -- the ULTIMATE 'fire a canon ball as far as you can' game, a genre that you might remember from the (really) olden days. The basic premise is obvious: you gotta toss the turtle as far as you can.

But oh boy is it more complicated and involved and awesome than simply firing a canon. This could be significantly more than a 10-minute-time-waster, I assure you.

First of all, you can move with the WASD keys after you fire the canon -- you have to move your turtle away from obstacles and into things that will give you more points, or a shunt in the right direction. It's not initially obvious what's helpful or harmful, but you'll quickly learn that things like bananas and chainsaws are good things. Spikes are bad things.


Next up you have a frickin' shop. You get money from your various achievements -- distance travelled, bags of cash that you pick up, enemies squashed -- which you can then spend on lots of cool shit. Guns, rockets, bigger canons to toss yourself from.

I only got as far as a new gun and a jet pack, but the dollars started ticking in pretty quickly once I worked out the basic mechanics of the game. The gun is certainly interesting -- you can use it to propel yourself further, or hop yourself over obstacles. I spent all my money on an Uzi... but maybe I should've bought an AK-47? It's questions like these which make Toss The Turtle much more than a mere time-waster!


Ah, and I forgot to mention, this game has achievements too. Hit a certain enemy, travel a big enough distance or hit the stratosphere and win an achievement! As I said at the beginning, this really is the ultimate canon-launch game. It's the perfect blend of continued practice, luck and skill. You could easily dedicate a lunch break or two to this game. Or three.

Play Toss the Turtle

Tags: achievements, newgrounds, timewasters