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Preemptive FAIL : Five easy things Verizon isn't doing to fix Android
It's all over the place; Verizon is embracing Android. Google loving apologist geeks everywhere are heralding the 85 million new customers -- who are obviously ready to try Android, if only Verizon would let them -- as the beginning of a new era in mobile phone competition. The cries of panacea are all I've heard all day:"It's going to be a floodgate of new users! "
"Death to the iPhone!"
And, as one particularly difficult to satisfy commenter on another blog wrote:
"Get over yourselves apple and make a new product."
I'll have to admit, as a current G2, and previous G1 owner, I was a little excited myself. Then I read one thing from the joint Verizon/Google press call which made me crestfallen.
"Verizon also has no plans to make any changes to the Android Market."
And with that, all my dreams of an Android controlled world ran away like so much sand through my fingers. This is an enormous mistake, Verizon. Care to know why? The Android Market is terrible. It's worse than terrible, it's horrible.
Horrible, and just a little bit dangerous.
I've got a list of five things Verizon must do to the Android Market if they're to have any hope of even modest success.
Upgrade all
My iPod Touch does it, why can't you Android? Just one little button which allowed me to upgrade all, and no more clearing my whole notification list just to get rid of all the "Successfully Installed" messages.
Here's a UI/UX hint; Tell me when something doesn't work. Otherwise, leave me alone. Notifications are for important things like email and SMS. Right now I have 5 apps waiting to upgrade on my phone, and I'm dreading it like a visit to the dentist.
Reconfirming access I've already granted, during upgrades
Which brings us to my next major complaint. I already granted you access to my calendar/email/dialer/coffee grinder when I installed the first time, why do I have to grant access again? If this is the kind of awesome usability standards we can expect from Chrome OS, someone pass me a pile of Microsoft stock.
Anything resembling screen shots
Not having screen shots is just braindead. If you want to compete with Apple, user experience is so essential as to make irrelevant nearly any other factor until you fix this. Android 1.6 does include screen shots in the Market, or at least the ability to display them, but I'm left to wonder how many apps just won't have them by the time "Donut" makes it out to everyone.
It's not like they made it easy to grab screens on Android phones. I personally think this is a primary cause of the (admittedly) few great Android apps not getting much coverage on the web. As a blogger who has snapped shots and created a gallery for a hot iPhone app within minutes of its release, I'm telling you It's just too hard to get screen shots in a hurry on Android. If the app is on both platforms, I'm picking the iPhone version every single time.
iPhone apps are enticing. I get excited when I look at them. They're like porn, only without the boobies, and with lots more smooth gradients and pretty controls.
That Google held screen shots as such a low priorty that we're only beginning to see them in the Market a year after launch is more than pathetic. It's just plain ol' poor execution. It's also endemic of everything wrong with Google. Complete disrespect of the average user's time. I'm a nerd, and I'll lay on the couch trying app after app until I find something I like -- the average person will not.
Simple math tells you there are a lot more "average users" than people like me. Common sense tells you that you don't sell the steak, you sell the sizzle. The Android Market is way more like refrigerated bologna, even in 1.6.
Comment moderation to remove the trash from the Market reviews
Almost daily I'm reminded who else bought G1 phones. Braindead thugs who comment on clearly marked "root only" apps with gems like "Y0, Dis ain't no workin. 1 star. Any ladies, hit me up on myspace." Joined by slightly more literate users who have absolutely zero idea what the app they just downloaded is intended to do.
My all time favorite descriptive gem in the Market? "Stupid"
Yah, that'll show'em.
Here's a thought. Maybe if the Market had screen shots, a few of these people would realize it's not the app, it's them. You know, kinda like how they put pictures on the menu at Waffle House so you can just point when you're too stupid, lazy, drunk -- or all three -- to speak.
Sure, the stupid people will still be stupid. I'm just looking for anything that might keep them out of my sight line.
Vetting of applications
There has to be something in-between total anarchist free-for-all of the current Android Market and the tightly controlled Apple App Store approval mafia. Any approval system is going to have edge cases, but isn't Google supposed to be litterally busting at the gills with well-fed smart people?
For crying out loud, I downloaded "Bsodroid" from the Market and I was blue-screening Windows boxes on my local network within seconds. If I weren't such a nice guy, I'd be dozing on my couch right now while ruining porn-browsing time for whichever neighbor it is who insists on leaving his access point open. I realize that Microsoft is really at fault for not fixing the TCP stack bug which allows the attack but, come on! What is this doing in the Market?
Comments
31
Subscribe to commentsTrevorOct 6th 2009 10:14PM
Poster, please do a little more research.
3&4 are directly fixed in Android 1.6, and if this poster followed Android at all tehy would know that. 1&2 are big security issues, and having a Market with such an open door means the end user WANTS to see what these apps are doing. As for 5, google is making more categories, and is working on this.
Information CentralOct 7th 2009 5:03AM
First of all, the points weren't numbered.
Second, a security issue? No. The guy's complaint was the he ALREADY approved access. That should be enough. Users should not be badgered over and over again for the same permissions.
tingrin87Oct 8th 2009 3:32AM
@Info Central -
if i authorize an app, and something is changed (new version, new features) i want to be nudged to look at the feature list/terms again before i let a new app (even if it's just a version upgrade, for all intents and purposes it's still a new app) roam my phone.
There is o way to sort out the "good" devs from the bad - no reason a dev couldn't release 3 versions of a kick-ass app, then change it to steal all your photos and contacts.
WrinkliezOct 6th 2009 10:27PM
Huh! Interesting. I was under the impression that most Verizon users were worried that Verizon would sort of take over the market place in order to get some of the profit. I actually am glad they are staying away from the marketplace... I don't need Verizon apps; I need Android apps.
milrtime83Oct 6th 2009 11:43PM
I agree. I would much rather have them "make no changes" to the app market because any changes Verizon would make would not be beneficial to consumers or fix any of the concerns in this article.
I'm not saying your concern aren't valid, but they are things for Google to fix and I would prefer Verizon not intervene.
GunderstormOct 7th 2009 9:24AM
That was the first thing I thought too... but this post isn't really about Verizon, is it?
shamugeoffOct 7th 2009 6:19AM
Please PLEASE, make this a bitch to Google, make all of them to them. Dont bitch at the Wireless company when they say they are not going to meddle, because its a good thing.
And these make sense, good UI on EVERYTHING is what it needs.
DaveOct 7th 2009 1:11AM
Have to say, I agree wholeheartedly with the first two posters.
Yes, the market has a few issues, but if the poster followed the world of android at all, they'd know that it's in the process of a major overhaul.
Regarding the BSOD app, people hate the fact that apple moderates their store so heavily. This is a much less stringent moderation process, and I think it's a major advantage of android.
The worst thing Verizon could do would be to try to redesign or replicate the store. It would be a waste of time and money, and only cause dissatisfaction of users.
DavidOct 7th 2009 2:26AM
Grant, I think you have a serious bug up your butt about Android. Kill the damn thing and drop it in the toilet. That being said ...
Why do you need an update all button? I can't count the times I've looked at supposedly great apps, only to see that the latest version update has removed features lots of people loved. Just look at Locale. That's the prime example. People update and then they hate the new version. If you don't want to update, you shouldn't be forced to. You should be allowed to update when you want and what you want. How are 5 app updates so painful for me? I get an update notification, I update the app and I put the phone back in my pocket and let it update. Hell, even when I am not using the 3G on my HTC Magic I still get great download speeds. Just drop the phone in my pocket and continue paying attention to my lecture at the university or whatever.
At this point, the only thing that the iPhone has over the first generation of Android phones is hardware speed. The iPhone has some great processors and everything like that, but everything else about it is horrible. Android on the other hand is fabulous. I'd been waiting ever since Android came out to be able to get an Android phone and I was finally able to get the HTC Magic last week and it has fulfilled all of my expectations. I'm not disappointed by a single aspect of it. I've used the iPhone and that is an annoying platform. Android rocks. iPhone OS does not.
Best part is: You don't hear about Cupcake or Donut killing batteries and phones, do you?
GunderstormOct 7th 2009 9:34AM
I agree completely regarding the updates, especially around upgrade time when apps have compatibility issues.
When I get a notification that there are updates available, I always read what was changed or added and ask myself if I had issues that correspond to what was "fixed".
Plus if I had an "Update All" button I wouldn't be encouraged to check out new features in individual apps and report back to the developer if I find bugs.
android fanOct 7th 2009 4:13AM
Fail post!
The market is getting fixed in the next update!
Do your research mister!
Information CentralOct 7th 2009 5:01AM
It's not Verizon's job to fix an "open-source" marketplace, and we sure shouldn't want them to. If the points in this article were EVER valid, they're pretty disgraceful and don't bode well for the viability of the platform. No screen shots? Come on. The UI complaints also sound pretty well founded.
Christina WarrenOct 7th 2009 12:26PM
I agree that it isn't the carrier's job to "fix" stuff -- but the problem is, that's exactly what Google has said for them (and the handset manufacturers) to do. They apparently want everyone to feel free to use it as a base and add shit on top of it, but the problem is, they didn't make that clear to the public (or to the developers) when it was being sold as a platform, and it's pretty hard to expect carriers to invest a whole lot into making a platform not suck when the userbase and app market is so small. And of course that becomes all chicken-egg because the market can't grow without improvements.
But yes, when I found out that the screenshot process still hadn't been fixed from a post I wrote A YEAR ago when I was trying to grep stuff for a post on the Facebook app, I had to roll my eyes.
There are so many problems that are real deterrents to people adopting a platform that has potential. The problem is, potential doesn't mean anything without real signs of innovation and improvement. So far, only HTC's Sense UI has any semblance of "ooh" factor and that still doesn't change the Android Market woes.
Information CentralOct 10th 2009 5:25AM
"They apparently want everyone to feel free to use it as a base and add shit on top of it, but the problem is, they didn't make that clear to the public (or to the developers)"
Huh. I didn't find that message to be unclear at all, and even wondered why OpenMoko was never mentioned in all the hype over Android since we already had an "open-source" phone and OS project.
The main problem is the lack of hardware. The early years have so far been marked by inept designs that were flawed in ways that should have been obvious from day one. A paltry handful of bulky, GSM-only phones with no headphone jacks aren't exactly going to set the world on fire.
Although Apple's app store set a compelling standard as a central place to obtain phone apps, Apple has left the door open for a competitor to offer "real" apps. Specifically, apps with full access to the phone's hardware, allowing communication with a computer or external devices. Currently, the iPhone is a handheld Unix computer that can't communicate with another computer except through some third-party Internet intermediary or a wireless workaround. And it's all managed through... a JUKEBOX app? Ridiculous.
The Android camp needs to get it in gear, though, and quickly. Motorola should have been 100 percent Android from the day it became available, because it's their only hope. And yet they've continued to dribble out crap in the interim.
Grant RobertsonOct 10th 2009 5:33AM
OpenMoko? You're kidding, right?
"Currently, the iPhone is a handheld Unix computer that can't communicate with another computer except through some third-party Internet intermediary or a wireless workaround. And it's all managed through... a JUKEBOX app? Ridiculous."
This isn't even remotely true. Well, except the part about the jukebox app. That's true. Also true, that jukebox app is pretty darn competent at managing an iPhone.
Information CentralOct 14th 2009 2:15AM
"OpenMoko? You're kidding, right?"
Spare us the smug retorts that don't contain any backup. If you have something to say, say it.
"This isn't even remotely true."
Again, no backup for that statement. Ask any developer: They are prevented from writing apps that communicate with the computer over USB, thus requiring a bunch of hokey workarounds that may not even be applicable. Do a little research before making claims.
ToddOct 7th 2009 8:07AM
Grant you do know that the entire Android market is just a stalling tactic until the HTML5 spec is finished, right?
I mean, *no one* here thinks that the same company who offers *web only* Gmail as a replacement for desktop Outlook actually wants local installs, do they? Why does Android support intents and oil can, which give the browser low level access to the OS making web apps ( HTML5 ) as powerful as a locally install app from the market?
Seriously people, open Gmail with Android's browser - its got twice the functionality as the local version that resides as an "app".
Locally install apps are obsolete, Google is the number one champion of that, and Android's market will never be the primary source of anything meaningful post HTML5.
Grant RobertsonOct 10th 2009 5:35AM
That works great on an airplane when I just want to play Trism. Local apps definitely have a place. I'll agree that it's shrinking, but we're not there yet.
OskieeOct 7th 2009 8:20AM
Grant, your article seems like you're complaining just to complain.
On #1 Upgrade all seems like a great idea, but i have to agree with other posters, in that sometimes updates take away from the app you just updated. An update all would be nice, but... eh... personally i can live with out it.
#2 is another not-very-thought-out complaint. Whenever an App installs, it asks for permission, when you update an app, guess what? ... You're installing an app! So its going to ask you. Yea you can argue that "why cant they just not ask you when updating?" and youre right, I imagine they make you reconfirm in the case of added features that use more of your phone's services.
#3 is a moot point, they added Screen shots in 1.6, anyone jumping on board right now wont care that before there werent any screen shots. You're complaining to complain.
#4 Stupid people are going to be stupid. Google is not going to waste their time and money on moderating comments. And if you give that power to the author, he can just delete any bad comments, valid or not. Also screen shots again?? ugh, get over it.
and on your last point... In a system like this, any control is to much control in my opinion. The being flagged by users is the only way to do it fair.
No the market isnt the greatest thing in the world, but it isnt going to be androids Achilies heel either. Whats going to kill android, or prevent it from dominating over the iPhone? The phones themselves and nothing else.
sitrucOct 7th 2009 8:58AM
Is this another "joke" article?