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Microsoft warns court of Word-related armageddon
Nevermind 2012, according to Micorosoft there's a good chance that a Texas district court judge's recent decision could very well cause civilization as we know it to crumble in a few short weeks.It all starts with Microsoft's need to redesign Word to remove the code which violates i4i's XML patent. "The money! The beautiful, beautiful money!" an entirely fictitious spokesperson stated. "There's no way we could ever recoup it. It's not like we're a massively profitable company with overwhelming shares of operating system of office software markets or something."
But there's something much more horrifying to consider here than Microsoft losing a few million dollars. It's just the first domino to fall in the series.
Next comes the cataclysmic damage to vendors like Dell, HP, and Best Buy - all of whom would have to immediately re-tool as a result. That means hours and hours of meetings - which also means lost productivity and increased stress levels.
The associated disruption of sales in an uncertain economy? It's not hard to see where this could end up. Increased joblessness. The new unemployed would no doubt turn on the justice system, and lead to waves of rioting, looting, and lawlessness.
Before you know it, the United States is a desert wasteland and we're all driving around in school buses fighting off zombie attacks. After the US, the world quickly becomes a dull, withered husk.
So please - for the sake of humanity - grant the stay.
[via The Register]
Comments
9
Subscribe to commentsGlenn TobeyAug 19th 2009 2:43PM
STOP STEALING MY CONSPIRACY THEORIES DAMMIT!!!!
ToddAug 19th 2009 2:47PM
"...vendors like Dell, HP, and Best Buy - all of whom would have to immediately re-tool as a result."
Nonsense. Installing Open Office would take all of ten minutes, cost $0.00, save millions in licensing fees paid to Microsoft.
http://openoffice.org
P.S. Yes, Open Office reads and writes Word files
AyartonAug 19th 2009 2:53PM
Open Office also uses the same XML spec...
That's not the answer.
Saint SeminoleAug 19th 2009 2:57PM
Open Office also changes formatting (quite a bit) when opening and re-saving files created in Word. It's the main reason my wife and I still don't use it much.
I think what Microsoft may have meant was "It could hurt our profit margins, while causing very little damage to anyone else."
Arc|AngelAug 19th 2009 3:23PM
Funny post. But this would be disruptive. I work in a field with lots of word collaborative work. We recently moved everyone to the xml standard and going back would be a pain (as may getting new copies of word with xml if we do not want to go back).
Re: Todd. If you really think changing anything on a production line costs $0.00 (even to a free product) you've obviously never worked in this business. Lets not forget these companies also deal to primarily business clients who require certain software specs.
I tried a year of Open Office in a Word world and it was a nightmare. And my wife threatened to divorce me then secretly installed M$ Office when I was on vacation lol
sepiriothAug 19th 2009 3:55PM
great post, but the bottom line is sort of true. Will it end the world? no. Will it cause millions if not billions of dollars for businesses to redesign how to work on a day to day basis? yes. and thats enough reason to grant the stay.
And I agree that open office, for lack of a better word, sucks. Ive tried it everytime they had a major upgrade i think and it never impressed me. There is a reason MS is so successfull and everywhere. And monopoly has NOTHING to do with it. And before you trash me as a MS fanboy, nobody forces anybody to use it. If you dont like it get a Mac if you dont like those either go for schmilux or get yourself a nice pen and paper.
GibberAug 19th 2009 4:33PM
Really, you are completely missing the point.
Ignoring that MS can easily afford to pay up, and they are such a fun company to deface. This patent is absurd in the utmost. In computer science terms, about as bad as "method of exercising a cat" (Patent 5443036). They are not arguing MS stole their code, just their "idea" for how XML interacts with a program - which, quite frankly, should be considered obvious, and thus unpatentable.
Shill lawyers, trying to wring money of of companies that do *actual* work.
And if you think OpenOffice.org isn't guilty of exactly the same thing.. you better check your facts. They just haven't been sued... yet.
mooglinuxAug 19th 2009 8:09PM
http://yro.slashdot.org/story/09/08/18/190227/i4i-Says-OpenOffice-Does-Not-Infringe-Like-MS-Word
No, openoffice handles xml differently and thus has avoided being sued. But its a pretty pathetic patent to begin with. Why are software patents allowed again?
DeoWulfAug 19th 2009 11:19PM
Same person allowed them who allowed a company to patent your DNA, maybe?