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Microsoft warns court of Word-related armageddon

Nevermind 2012, according to Micorosoft there's a good chance that a Texas district court judge's recent decision could very well cause civilization as we know it to crumble in a few short weeks.

It all starts with Microsoft's need to redesign Word to remove the code which violates i4i's XML patent. "The money! The beautiful, beautiful money!" an entirely fictitious spokesperson stated. "There's no way we could ever recoup it. It's not like we're a massively profitable company with overwhelming shares of operating system of office software markets or something."

But there's something much more horrifying to consider here than Microsoft losing a few million dollars. It's just the first domino to fall in the series.

Next comes the cataclysmic damage to vendors like Dell, HP, and Best Buy - all of whom would have to immediately re-tool as a result. That means hours and hours of meetings - which also means lost productivity and increased stress levels.

The associated disruption of sales in an uncertain economy? It's not hard to see where this could end up. Increased joblessness. The new unemployed would no doubt turn on the justice system, and lead to waves of rioting, looting, and lawlessness.

Before you know it, the United States is a desert wasteland and we're all driving around in school buses fighting off zombie attacks. After the US, the world quickly becomes a dull, withered husk.

So please - for the sake of humanity - grant the stay.

[via The Register]

Tags: court, i4i, lawsuit, microsoft-word, patent, xml