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Microsoft gets a taste Texas justice: judge slams Word with banhammer
Right arm at the ready, fingers flexing. Suddenly, Microsoft reached for its holster, grabbing at the Word 2010 Technical Preview. They didn't count on the lightning-fast reflexes of Judge Davis. With his first gavel he knocked the software back ten paces. Microsoft reeled, and turned to retrieve the case. A second gavel to the knee left Microsoft quivering in the dirt.
"Now listen hear, you slippery rattlesnake," he said, "XML patents is sacred 'round these parts, and we don't take kindly to people violatin' 'em." He tipped up the brim of his hat to reveal his stern brow and continued "I'm givin' you sixty days to come up with $290 million in gold bullion. And I don't want you bringin' that trash around here until you can abide by the laws of the great US of A."
Microsoft looked up with chagrin. "We are disappointed by the court's ruling," they said, breaking character rather suddenly. "We believe the evidence clearly demonstrated that we do not infringe and that the i4i patent is invalid. We will appeal the verdict." Well, of course there will be appeals - which means Microsoft will likely never have to stop selling or testing Word in the United States.
Who will win in the end? Unfortunately, that will be decided by lawyers in fancy suits, not gunslingers.
[via Seattle PI]
Comments
13
Subscribe to commentsJohnny KAug 12th 2009 11:03AM
lol.... lee, sometimes you just crack me up. Nice job.
Lee MathewsAug 12th 2009 11:04AM
Thanks, man...Glad you enjoyed it!
Background: this morning I was having flashbacks to my grandfather reading Louis Lamour books when I was 4 or 5. Somehow that's all it took to get me going.
r3loadedAug 12th 2009 11:40AM
I recently read an article (in the Economist, no less) about how Texas was gunning for California's position as the top state for doing business in. Unless they drastically revise their absurd patent and litigation laws, I don't see that happening any time soon.
wine.curmudgeonAug 12th 2009 2:23PM
This is Texas, dammit. We'll do what we want. And we can secede whenever we want.
It truly is a different place. I've lived here 25 years, and most people still consider me an outsider.
Michael RoseAug 12th 2009 12:10PM
"artist's rendering" ROFL. Nicely done.
minibarAug 12th 2009 12:29PM
"Who will win in the end? Unfortunately, that will be decided by lawyers in fancy suits,..."
but, of course, judges and juries decide court cases, rather than fancypants lawyers.
"banhammer"? now, that's funny.
RogueJedi86Aug 12th 2009 12:35PM
Could someone translate the article into real English? I can't read through all those cowboy euphemisms.
MasonAug 12th 2009 7:33PM
If you can't understand it, take a look at the source article listed after the story...
Ya know, where it says [via Seattle PI]
http://blog.seattlepi.com/microsoft/archives/176223.asp
shibathedogAug 12th 2009 4:47PM
Cool, I had to read through four paragraphs instead of one sentence, efficient, I like it. This is for people that don't want to waste time:
A Texas judge ruled that Microsoft cannot sell Word in the United States because it is infringing i4i's patent on reading XML, MS will be trying to appeal the verdict.
Was that so hard?
hazardAug 12th 2009 8:23PM
The District Court for the Eastern District of Texas is quite entrepreneural. Nice doing business with you Judge Davis.
JamesAug 12th 2009 8:56PM
OK, just to clarify, someone is trying to claim a patent for "storing a word processor document using XML and an XML schema"? Seriously?
sRcAug 13th 2009 8:20AM
close, but not a word processor document specifically, just "XML Content." the real problem is how much worse this could get because of that vague patent, because it could be interpreted that a whole lot more things using the W3C standard could fall under this juristiction...
ImpulsivityAug 13th 2009 4:02PM
No way! Microsoft stealing someone elses technology and ideas!?! That NEVER happens. Clearly i4i must be wrong just ask Apple, Netscape, Lotus, Corel and hundreds of others.