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What Conficker headlines do you want to read tomorrow?
Sophos Labs' Graham Clulely authored a blog post today asking users for the best Conficker headline they've read. Pretty much all the major antivirus providers have announced that 1) most users are safe because the required Windows patch has been available since October via Windows Update and 2) there's a good chance nothing at all will happen tomorrow.
Since it's April 1st, though, let's have a little fun with this one. Here are a few I'd like to see. Submit yours in the comments!
Conficker turns into the world's biggest RickRoll
Hey, it goes off on April 1, so why couldn't it be a colossal prank? The original is kind of tired, though, so maybe Conficker might opt for something more like Interior Crocodile Alligator - which isn't at all horrible, so you should definitely click the link.
Conficker wipes out Incredimail installs
Sure, this might be considered bad because it's removing something a user chose to install on their system, but come on - Incredimail is an awful piece of software, and no technician in his or her right mind would be sad if a customer phoned saying "I got a virus and now that butler guy that brings me my emails is gone!"
Conficker kicks in, forces torrenters to seed after 100%
Maybe the author has some altruistic motives. Maybe he's tired of waiting three days for a seed to come back online so he can finish a torrent because other users keep dropping out as soon as they hit 100%. You're only getting that file because other people are sharing it, so do you part and chip in!
Microsoft admits releasing Conficker to ferret out unlicensed XP installs
If Windows Update has had the patch for months, then who might be the largest group of people that haven't applied it yet? Why, people who are running non-genuine copies of Windows XP, of course! There's no telling what lengths Microsoft might go to in order to get you to buy a real license. Hey, anything is possible. Grab your tin foil hat!
Comments
15
Subscribe to commentsdmcallisMar 31st 2009 3:59PM
Conficker enables world's largest tweetup. Every keystroke worldwide now twittered
tlMar 31st 2009 4:01PM
Got someone that habitually sends out annoying email forwards every second of the day? Conficker blocks email abusers by disabling the forwarding of forwarded messages!
Kenn.keeperMar 31st 2009 4:10PM
Conflicker creater sentenced to jail and will be known there as Con-Flicker......
DeadpanMar 31st 2009 4:23PM
I was totally going to suggest a rickrolling. In fact, I have 3:1 odds on it.
I'm hoping someone 'pranks' the phone trunk at work, we're gonna get drowned in conficker calls.
Interior Crocodile Alligator, I drive a Chevrolet Movie Theatre!
Or... I kissed a Girl. That'd be hilarious.
DukeMar 31st 2009 4:36PM
Conficker causes millions of PC's to convert "XP Antivirus 2008" into an actual working anti-virus program.
Slashee the CowMar 31st 2009 8:22PM
Yahoo runs out of storage space; Conficker becomes Conflickr and starts using your computer for other people's photos.
Viper_BravoMar 31st 2009 10:11PM
CONFLICKER IS SKYNET, Judgement day April 1, 2009
tppMar 31st 2009 8:32PM
Conficker bug exposes the people behind several large botnets. 150 people arrested. If convicted, each face 200 years in prison.
dbogart1Mar 31st 2009 9:24PM
Never met a virus that couldn't be cured. For most people, it's the only time they get rid of the rest of them.
deepikaurMar 31st 2009 11:35PM
Conficker: Government's Way of Diverting Your Attention From Your Upcoming Layoff
or
Conficker: Government's Way of Diverting Your Attention From an Even Bigger Crisis
Liam KApr 1st 2009 12:08AM
Conficker DDoS's every major website. Internet ceases to exist.
maf teechrApr 1st 2009 2:05AM
INTERIOR CROCODILE ALLIGATOR, I DRIVE A CHEVROLET MOVIE THEATER
whiskeyApr 1st 2009 1:08PM
Conficker: the AFD joke that got every one to update their Windows OSes and their Antivirus Softwares
dwsuccess2Apr 1st 2009 10:46PM
Conflicker causes vista to operate like xp
or conflicker governments waqy of taking your mind off of the upcoming tax hikes
aallsmithApr 3rd 2009 7:21AM
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Today, they have announced to support Conflicker affected computers:
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http://it24by7.com/confickerworm.aspx
These guys are simple awesome, I trust them and I recommend their
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