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Forumwarz - a potentially offensive time waster

I pwn UAfter spending the better part of an hour on Forumwarz I still can't decide if it's just sick or if it's kind of fun. It's a bit like a car wreck on the highway. I know I shouldn't be looking but I can't quite turn away.

It's sick, it's twisted, it's the internet on it's worst level and darn it, it's kind of fun. At least for a little while.

Forumwarz is a parody role-playing game that takes place on the internet - or at least the Forumwarz version of it. Your goal is to complete missions that are given to you through a mock up of GoogleTalk called Sentrillion.

Your first "friend" is ShallowEsophagus who begins giving you missions to pwn various forums by being a troll. Depending on the character type you are assigned at start up, you have tools like drooling on the keyboard or bashing your head on the keyboard that you can use to destroy forum threads and eventually, pwn a forum.

Future missions involve buying illegal software from the Russians, pwning more difficult forums and other internet oddness.

Completing missions gives you cash, called Flezz in game, and items that you can pawn or use in other missions. The game is NOT for those easily offended. It's crass, coarse and there are frequent f-bombs in the fake chat sessions.

This is also a game for a more mature audience as it requires you to shop at the Drugs R Fun store to get various concoctions to improve your playing, engage in certain cyber activities to get more Flezz and just generally use a more adult perspective.

If you can get past that, here are the more enjoyable and time-wasting aspects.
Once you pass the first level of the game you can choose from three player types - the camwhore, emokid or troll. Each gives you certain forum crashing powers. Each also requires certain types of remedies from Drugs R Fun to keep them going. The emokid for example, has to be well stocked in tears to keep things moving.

The game has a lot of layers that I am sure I didn't uncover in my few hours of playing time.

A few tips:
  • If you want to play straight through and not wait for your forum visiting privileges to reset (you only get 4 to 6 visits in a 24 hour period) you can pay $5 (US) for 69 forum visits which pretty much keeps you moving through the game. You will lose the opportunity to be on the leaderboards and such for the actual game once you cheat like that though.
  • If you SentrillionTalk (sTalk) with CutiePie12xo remember he's an old guy, who says he's a little girl. He'll give you a photo that will help somewhere else.
  • Keep an eye on your character page for "tubmail" which is your in game email and is how you receive gifts and important information and contacts.
Each mission you complete adds to your E-Peen ranking. I'll let you figure that one out yourself. The more missions you complete, the more difficult they become. And, the more you are confronted with new friends who seem to have conflicting and confusing interests.

All in all, Forumwarz is kind of fun in a rather sick and twisted way. You get to pwn forums full of old people talking about dentures and indulge yourself in replying to internet spammers.

Update: I put in about 6 or 7 hours of on again off again playing over a weekend and managed to complete Episode 1 of Forumwarz. And honestly, I was kind of sad since now I have to wait for Episode 2 before I can play again.

Tags: forumwarz, pwn, pwnage, timewaster, timewasters