The 5 most annoying programs on your PC
Elephantware. That is what we are talking about. Bloated programs that make brand new PCs boot like Pentium 2s with 64 MBs of RAM. This is software that causes your screen to freeze while it works, consumes enough system resources to display a reminder box letting you know there is a new, even bigger, version available for download. Software we've been forced to install so we can read some special document format, enjoy some DRM infected piece of media, or communicate with others who also live with the same brand of behemoth riding on their backs.
We all have it. We are all stuck with it. And, aside from a glimmer or two of hope, we can't expect to escape their boot screens, quick launch icons, or update reminders anytime soon.
This is the worst of the worst.
1. Acrobat Reader
Adobe Acrobat Reader is like a stocky frat guy you never want to invite to your Halloween parties, because he'll show up wearing a giant gift-wrapped box with a "To: Women, From: God" label on top. He thinks he is all that, but he really just wore a costume so big he can't get through the front door and has to stay outside by the fire all night (true story!).
Back on topic though, Acrobat reader does one thing poorly -- read PDFs. To do this it needs to download updates at least twice a month. Acrobat's other big feature is the ability to bring your system to a roaring halt while it boots up its massive amount of plugins and libraries. All this to display (wait for it) -- a page.
FoxIt Reader is a much better solution. Download it, and you'll no longer cringe each time your accidentally click on a PDF link while browsing the internet.
2. iTunes
I CAN HAZ MANY HOURS OF IPOD SYNCING? KTHXBYE!
For the love of Apple, why is iTunes such a cow of an application? It is a media player! It should be light and the media should be heavy. Instead we have a bloated and increasingly complex application that takes so long to load, is so ugly, and takes up so much memory the only option is to not use it and pull up Pandora. And let's not even talk about the painful process of syncing a new iPod using this pile of cowplop.
3. Real Player
Real Player could have been YouTube. Instead it is, well, Real Player. Like a pushy kid on your front lawn trying to sell you a magazine subscription, Real Player just doesn't leave you alone. It is constantly trying to take over all the media on your hard drive, your web browser, and your MP3 Players. To make matters worse it continuously tries to upsell you on Rhapsody and SuperPass. Yeah, let's just SuperPass on those options. Thanks.
You might try Real Alternative instead.
4. Internet Explorer
Yes, the great drunk-and-raving-at-family-Christmas-gatherings granddad of bad software. Will Microsoft ever fix this? Sure IE 7.0 is better than IE 6.0, but that is only in a "at least Mussolini made the trains run on time" sort of way. It is still evil. Can't believe it? Ask any web developer to explain how many hours they've spent in the last month getting their site to work in IE and you'll get the picture.
If you aren't using FireFox, do.
5. Microsoft Outlook
Hello Microsoft! Please! It is nearly 2008! How is it possible GMail and Yahoo Mail are so much faster and so much more feature-rich than your flagship mail client? How is it, in the world of 500 spam messages a day, that Outlook becomes pitch-drip slow as soon as you have a couple thousand messages? How is it your business contact manager is always trying to do mysterious things, always failing to do them, and always complaining about it in the middle of startup? And how, oh please tell us how, can you justify a message search that scans a folder at the same speed we do?
Let's face it, no matter how fast your processor, how big your hard drive, or how many Gigs of RAM you have -- your PC will still never run like a gazelle. With junk like the aforementioned software cluttering up your C Drive from day one, you'll always be stuck waddling along at Winnie-the-Pooh speeds. And if that is too fast for you, perhaps a downgrade to Vista is in order.













Comments
229
Subscribe to commentsMatthewJan 10th 2008 1:53AM
PDF download allows you to save pdf files instead of just opening them by accident.
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/636
anonJan 1st 2008 2:02PM
Did anyone mention Lotus Notes? and Lotus Sametime? They are public enemy number one for PCs. My work machine takes more than 10 minutes to boot (at least 5 minutes of that time is spent loading sametime). My home mac boots in less than one minute.
LunarMoonJan 1st 2008 2:29PM
As time passes Adobes sucks more and more. Acrobat Reader sucks to infinity +1. It sucks so hard that if you dump Acrobat Reader's plugin from a Mac, Adobe installer stops working, Acrobat Writer stops working and you have to reinstall all the crap again. By the way, Adobe installer sucks too. It takes 90 minutes to install Creative Suite in a Core Duo while in CS2 the installer takes just 15 minutes to install everything. It is not the program that has increased in size is the installer that has increased in "suckiness"... For God's sake.
GeorgeJan 1st 2008 2:32PM
I think its your computer. My computer runs great and Acrobat loads up in a snap, the only program I don't use on your list is Outlook, but on systems that I have used it on it works like a champ. I think your computer is slow. Get a faster hard drive. It doesn't matter what speed your CPU is for business apps. All that matters is RAM and HD speed. Games need CPU speed, not casual apps. CPU helps though, but its not as critical as bus width and HD speed. Go solid state and it will fly.
mmhanApr 24th 2008 1:23AM
I feel so good that I'm not using all of them except iTunes.
Even though I can bear iTunes' start up time and it's resource consumption, it's updates are really annoying. Every update is like 40 MB+, can't they just add by modules. Its update is as large as many complete installation files.
JonathanJan 1st 2008 4:14PM
iTunes - anybody who owns a Mac knows that the Mac version of iTunes is a completely different animal... and yes, the PC version is a pile of shit.
jimJan 1st 2008 2:58PM
Uh, Firefox is a lot slower and less stable than IE. It also takes forever to start up. Are you sure you know what you're talking about?
Hank FoxJan 1st 2008 3:01PM
Oh, please. You do an article on this subject and you don't include Norton Internet Security??
Enabling Norton on your computer is like giving it a powerful tranquilizer.
VelcrocoreJan 1st 2008 3:09PM
Search for a program called "media player classic"
It's small, light, and fast! I hated waiting the minute for itunes to load, every time I needed to listen to a single song. I made Media Player Classic my default player, and just open itunes as needed.
iTunes aslo loads 2 or 3 other 'helper' programs. such crap.
DerekJan 1st 2008 3:13PM
Ha ha ha, PC users..
aww
Windows for games.
it's good for absolutely nothing else.
jimJan 1st 2008 4:29PM
You're having a laugh! OS X is for children and pretentious asses; you are aware they use them in schools because they're fairly idiot proof, right?
I'm a Mac user too, and it's been nothing but faulty hardware, memory leaks and trouble.
zunerJan 1st 2008 3:16PM
Now, now, you surely forgot Nero Burning Rom. In fact, you should add it to your article.
mr.glitterJan 1st 2008 7:01PM
haha!
Good one on the PDF, I thought I was the only that "cringes" when I click accidently on a .pdf link.
sferrinJan 1st 2008 6:22PM
itunes for the win.
Got iTunesHelper.exe consuming 12 megs and iPodService.exe sucking up another 4 megs. iTunes hasn't been launched since I had the computer on and I don't own an iPod so WTF?
I guess the biggest hog is iexplorer.exe 108 Mb for f--k's sake. A HUNDRED GODDAMN MEGS to view three low bandwidth pages. WTF Microsoft???????
mikelambJan 1st 2008 3:48PM
Lord you forgot MSN IM. What a clumsy, slow, annoying app that's always running heavy when I look at where my CPU is going.
michaelJan 4th 2008 12:19AM
MSN IM is no more. Get with the present.
It's now WLM, and they modified it to runs faster, be more lightweight, and not be the same crappy IM client it once was.
http://im.live.com/
CyrusJan 1st 2008 4:00PM
You forgot Windows.
DatalandJan 1st 2008 3:51PM
I agree. These apps really are terrible, I really detest Real player, and iTunes is the worst Windows system hog I have ever seen. Really. I do like Apple, but I absolutely detest iTunes on Windows.
Also, how can Microsoft continue to ship Outlook? It's a spam magnet and IMHO not a flagship product. I think IE is so slow, broken and unfunctional due to MS "need" to preserve backward compatibility, but I still try to stay away from it.
IMHO Adobe Acrobat Reader is also really crappy. How can they ship such a bloated, slow, un-reliable product, that does nothing but... read a pdf. Sad indeed.
-- Dataland
-- http://dataland.wordpress.com/
blcArmadilloJan 1st 2008 3:51PM
I use Firefox as my primarily browser but occasionally I'll use Internet Explorer too. Even though I love Firefox I have to say it is a ton bigger RAM hog.
nekoJan 1st 2008 4:03PM
Use thunderbird for email, and free online alternative to outlook for scheduling is the fabulous Google calendar. Also, this new online service for meeting scheduling seems to be a potential winner: www.timebridge.com